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What some philosophical terms ought to mean (but don’t)

The following misdefinitions were submitted for Hugh Mellor’s “Uxbridge Dictionary of Philosophy” 
 
A fortiori: There are at least 40 papers on this already

A posteriori: He is talking out of his arse

A priori: Someone already said that

Argumentum ad baculum: Back-stabbing
Ex post facto: The proof is in the mail

 
Contingent proposition: Unnecessary remark

Existential import: Cheap foreign philosophy

Gödel's Theorem: 'Every system of truths contains at least one that is misrepresented by popularisers'

Material conditional: A device for drawing material conclusions from immaterial premises

​Propositional calculus: The science of pick-up lines

Sorites Paradox: 'Philosophers never lose enough hair to become bald' 

Surprise Test Paradox: Students are never ready for the exam

Third Man Argument: I can't see what's wrong with this, but X can

 
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Anthony Gottlieb, 2009
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